This is the other variation of “Suck It Up” but this is on the positive side. Amidst every obstacle, and for every suck-filled moment you encounter… there will be triumph.

And damn it, you need to see that if you want to work your way back to the top.

Everybody needs to have an obstacle in order to taste the biggest of success.

So if you are a puppy stuck in a bath tub with hopes of getting away from water… then you have to realize your triumph. Otherwise, you’ll just fall deep in a soap water-filled tub.

Now that is soaking.

So soak it up.

(Why am I being so inspirational? I saw Air Bud and damn it, if a dog can shoot hoops then I could shoot hoops too!)

…

I am such a retard.

No. I mean, do you seriously think that am I THAT bad?

Well I guess you can say yes BUT NOOOOOO!!!! Never will I think that just because the dog is blue, built like a humongous cotton bud customized for King Kong, and most likely SUFFER THE INTENSE MOCKERY FROM HIS ANCESTORS!?!?!

…

He could be a decor in a car mirror.

Or a clown wig.

Perhaps a beard for a ferry terrorist that has issues growing himself a beard…

Hmmm…

Cotton candy anyone?

Attention Hollywood!

Are you looking for animals to cast for your upcoming movie? Look elsewhere because this image is doctored!

Just kidding. However, let it be known that Hollywood-trained animals are ridiculously great. They hardly have egos nor complain of their exposures. An example of which, Air Bud could be a star in Air Bud but would likely be DOGGY # 3 in his next flick. The great thing here though is that he will never complain and would only care for fun and the nourishments.

The only drawback from using animals is they can’t read the scripts, will only chew on the scripts, and perhaps urinate or poop on the script.

The main drawback of using animals as central characters? Most of these films are blatant flops.

Not convinced? Ask Steve Guttenburg.

He looks cute. He acts cuddly. And perhaps… PERHAPS… he could save your life in some heroic fashion where it would ignite a celebration and earn him a statue in front of your town hall.

But come face to face with an unsuspecting footwear… a ghastly, unappealing piece of unsuspecting footwear… his mind would only think of this:

Grrr… grrr… grrreat f*ck! Like, this is soooooooooooo not pretty! It’s like… oh my… people actually make these!?!? This soooo unpretty! Wait. I’m going to eat this! Then I’m going to spit it, re-manufacture it, and then I will eat it again! I am soooooooooo sure that when it comes out of my butt it would looooook better! Blah blah blah… blah blah blah….

Ferocious dogs = scary.

Ferocious dogs that are inclined to fashion? = even worse.

We could show you the rest of the picture… but it will just make you happy.

…

You picked a wrong time to be happy.

I hate “happy”…

Probably after thirty years your face becomes wrinkly, your eyes will be droopy and your face could warrant excessive unwanted dots and blemishes.

Luckily, you bark only for joking purposes.

…

Now stop drooling on your monitor.

Dogs are quite different from humans.

When men run around naked, they hide their faces due to extreme humiliation.

Dogs on the other hand… well, lets just say they are far from not ready to rip off the cloth furnished around his natural coat.

Even Superman would turn insane…

Sure, yeah… there are dogs that does not know the meaning of a not-so-empty stomach.

(picture cited)

But there are dogs that needs to think hard to not even think of food.

They are probably eaten by this guy.

(picture cited)